What is a soul tie and how is one created? How can unhealthy and abusive relationships create an ungodly bond and be an open door to demonic influence? The following is an excerpt from Chapter Eleven of Setting Captives Free that explains these concepts and how to break free!
Another area that I want to address in this chapter is severing ungodly soul ties. God created us as relational beings. Healthy relationships are a building block of life and are necessary for our growth and development. However, when relationships are unhealthy, they have the potential to create bondages in our lives. Sometimes evil spirits can gain access to a person’s life through unhealthy relationships and ungodly bonds.
The term soul tie is simply a reference to a deep bond with another person. This can be godly or ungodly, depending on the situation. David and Jonathan walked in a covenant friendship together, and the Bible says that “the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David” (1 Samuel 18:1). The marriage covenant, and sexual intimacy between a husband and wife, creates a bond where the “two become one” (see Genesis 2:24). These are examples of good and godly bonds. But there are other types of connections that are unhealthy and toxic, and these can be a doorway to demonic access. These ungodly soul ties seem to create an invisible bondage to the person involved.
One of the main ways that ungodly soul ties are created is through sexual intimacy outside of marriage. God created sex to bring oneness in marriage. Any sexual activity outside of the marriage covenant between a husband and wife is a violation of God’s design and is therefore a perversion. Engaging in sexual relationships outside of marriage creates an ungodly bond, and this can give evil spirits an open door. Let’s look at the apostle Paul’s words in 1 Corinthians 6:15-20 (ESV):
Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take the members of Christ and make them members of a prostitute? Never! Or do you not know that he who is joined to a prostitute becomes one body with her? For, as it is written, “The two will become one flesh.” But he who is joined to the Lord becomes one spirit with him. Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.
Paul clearly states that sexual intimacy creates a oneness with the person that you engage with, whether or not the person is your spouse. When we give ourselves to someone sexually, a bond is created. Sex is a sacred act, reserved only for the marital relationship. When this standard is violated, bonds are created with other people that were never meant to be created. These type of sexual soul ties can cause an attachment to someone and allow for demons to enter. (This gives a whole other meaning to STDs…it is not just sexually transmitted diseases that we should worry about, but also sexually transmitted demons!)
Another way that ungodly soul ties are created is when there is a destructive or toxic relationship with another individual. Examples include abuse of any kind, manipulation, control, and co-dependency. Relationships of this nature cause great damage and an unhealthy tie that needs to be broken.
When a person is in an abusive relationship, there is a bond that gets created. Counselors sometimes call this a trauma bond. God intends for us to bond with others in healthy ways: mutual love and respect, healthy communication, sharing of hearts, God-ordained friendships and connections, and other godly and loving ways. There is never meant to be control and domination of another person’s will, or co-dependent attachments. We are meant to need each other in a healthy, interdependent way, but our main source of love and fulfillment is meant to come from our relationship with God.
In an abusive relationship, a bond is created on the basis of control, fear, and trauma. This bond sometimes keeps people attached to the ones who have abused them, or keeps them in a cycle of abuse. Even when there is a physical separation between the abusive individual, there can be a spiritual connection that still remains. This can come from a one-time traumatic act, such as sexual abuse, or an ongoing pattern of abusive behavior. (The abuse in these situations might be sexual, verbal, spiritual, emotional, physical, or a combination of these).
A final type of soul tie that I have come across is related to the occult. When a person gets involved in occult groups, there is often a leader that you connect to, bond with, and give allegiance to. It is the devil’s counterfeit of discipleship. The same principle can be applied to secret societies and spiritually abusive cults. Sometimes ties like this need to be severed when people are coming out of these types of destructive scenarios.
Thomas came as a visitor to the young adult service that my wife and I were leading several years ago. I was on staff at a church as a youth and young adult pastor and we had recently seen God begin to move in healing and deliverance in our Friday night young adult meetings. I felt the need to teach on deliverance to give some understanding of what was happening, and that night was my first message on the topic.
When I finished my message and gave an invitation for ministry, Thomas jetted to the front. He told me that he was coming out of an immoral relationship and needed deliverance and freedom from the tie to this woman. I anointed him with oil and barely began to pray when he suddenly fell backwards to the ground. A demon began to manifest, his countenance turned angry, and he gripped the leg of a nearby chair as if he was about to throw it! Thankfully, God’s peace was upon me and I knelt down next to him and calmly ministered to him until he was delivered. He later said that it was as if he was pinned to the floor and unable to move until the demon left. Praise God!
There is deliverance from ungodly bonds and destructive soul ties. Whether the bond was created through sexual sin, a toxic or abusive relationship, or some other way, we have authority to break free in the name of Jesus. Use the prayer below as a guide to sever every ungodly soul tie.
Heavenly Father, I thank You that You are a relational God and that You made us to have healthy and loving relationships. Help me to relate to You and others in the way that You intend and help me to discern when there is an unhealthy bond.
I repent of any sexual sin that I have committed and sever any ungodly soul ties that have been created. I set myself free from any unhealthy relationship or ungodly bond to another person. In the name of Jesus, I break the power of any bonds that have been created through abuse or trauma.
In particular, I break the tie with _____________________… I declare that the blood of Jesus separates me from him/her. Now in the name of Jesus, I command any unclean spirits that have entered my life through ungodly soul ties or unhealthy bonds to come out. Go now, in Jesus’ name!
Setting Captives Free is filled with biblical teaching on the topic of demons and deliverance, powerful testimonies of those who have been set free, and practical prayers that you can use for yourself or others in need of deliverance. Make sure to get your copy!